I am a parent of 2 young children. In my professional life I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Behavior Analyst who specializes in working with neurodivergent children, teens and adults. In my practice, my clients and their parents often come with a complaint of excessive electronics use and the impact that it has on their behavior and their mental health. In recent years, I’ve spent hundreds of hours investigating what exactly is going on here, and I want to share some of the results of my research with the many concerned parents I know are out there.
Have you recently tried recalling someone’s phone number from memory? What about trying to get from Point A to Point B with a paper map instead of the step by step directions of a phone app? Hard, right? One might quickly rationalize that this is just a side effect of memory declining after having children, but there is so much more to it. With the introduction of smart phones, tablets, and video games most of us have drifted away from the need to memorize, have face to face conversations, play in person, research anywhere outside of Google, or develop social connections offline. This is leaving a serious mark on how humans interact, how we manage conflict, how we self-regulate, and how we feel.
These changes, I think, are impacting all of us more than we want or even fully understand.
In the 90s, we were convinced technology would make us and our kids smarter. What do we see today? Children and adolescents who are using electronics for extended durations of time are more likely to be diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, or even Psychosis. Not exactly going in the direction we thought, right? If you don’t believe me, try separating from your phone for an hour and pay attention to your physical reaction. If you are noticing an urge to check your messsages, emails or whatever is poping up on your screen despite the fact that you are doing soemthing meaningful with your children or with your partner in a short period of time, than the connection built between the device and you should be questioned.
While technology is supporting us in so many ways, is it possible that it is also hindering us a bit? For example, in 2009 the Cranfield University did a study on airline pilots and explored their abilities to land a plane in bad weather. The study results showed that the more these pilots used autopilot, the more their actual skills in landing a plane declined….
In 2019, JAMA Pediatrics conducted a study with children between the ages of 3-5 and found that those who used screens more than recommended showed lower levels of development in language, literacy, and cognitive skills. If these devices are impacting the human brain so significantly during the period the brain develops most rapidly in the first 5 years of life, perhaps we need to do some rethinking of what we are allowing our children to use and how much.
Have you ever paid attention in a grocery stores to little toddlers? What are they doing? They are usually holding some sort of a device, either a smart phone or a tablet. Connection to the most important human in their life is being replaced by a handheld device because it is so much easier to complete grocery shopping this way. Their social learning/modelling consists of large quantities of time spent scrolling up and down, staring at screens that are constantly changing, flashing bright colors, and responding immediately to everything the child does.
Think about it – it’s so reinforcing to the parent (you are peacefully shopping) and to the child (the device does everything the child wants on command and makes them feel successful for the littlest things, while providing far more visual and auditory stimulation than anything in the real world).
Now, let’s forward time a couple of years in a child's life - we are faced with the fact that suicide rate for children and adolescents between the ages of 10-14 has doubled between 2007-2014, which falls right into the time range when social media and smart phone/tablet usage became commonplace. Let’s forward time ahead again a couple more years, and we are looking at suicide, overdose, and alcoholism for 18-34 years old that have reached the same levels as during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.
How have these devices infiltrated our lives so smoothly and somehow come to be indispensable for meeting all of our needs in such a short time? They were designed this way. Really smart people (including many highly paid Behavior Analysts who know exactly how to manipulate human behavior) knew what areas they need to tap into in order to get us hooked. I invite you to look at these areas together with me.
Humans have 3 basic human drives:
A need for social connection,
A need to explore and discover new things
A need for a variety of different experiences.
What do smart phones and video games provide us? An easier and faster connection to “friends” via social media and games, constant and immediate access to new things and information, and the ability to engage in new experiences in ways we never could before without judgment.
And there’s nothing more stimulating than video games when it comes to exploration, having different experiences, and connecting socially without the anxiety of face to face interaction. The video game industry has really figured out how to get kids hooked on their games. I was shocked to find in the literature that Dr Peter Whybrow, the Director of Neuroscience at UCLA, has been calling electronic screens and video games electronic cocaine and that researchers in China call them electronic heroin (Wu, L., Sun, S., He, Y., & Jiang, B., 2016). Shocking right? It is painful to put these highly addictive drugs in the same context as our much loved children.
Studies on Internet and Gaming Addiction started in the US, and have now expanded all over the world – this is now a global problem. Studies have documented Internet and Gaming Addiction in a growing number of countries such as Italy (Ferraro, Caci, D’Amico, & Di Blasi, 2007), Pakistan (Suhail & Bargees, 2006), and the Czech Republic (Simkova & Cincera, 2004). Reports also indicate that Internet and Gaming Addiction has become a serious public health concern in China (BBC, 2007), Korea (Hur, 2006), and Taiwan (Leung, 2007).
Here are some more facts from the research:
In the 1990s, studies attempting to define the prevalence of the disorder vary in their estimates from 6% (Greenfield, 1999) among the general population of Internet users to 14% among college-based populations (Scherer, 1998).
Early studies showed mild-to-compulsive use of the Internet or gaming can lead to social isolation and depression (Krant et al., 1998), relationship difficulties and marital discord (Cooper et al., 2000; Schneider, 2000; Young et al, 2000), academic failure among students (Anderson, 1999; Morahan-Martin, 1997), and work-related problems such as reduced productivity and job loss (Case & Young, 2001).
Historically, according to Dr. Maressa Hecht Orzack, the director of the Computer Addiction Services at McLean Hospital, a Harvard Medical School affiliate, and another pioneer in the study of Internet and Gaming Addiction, individuals with Internet and Gaming Addiction demonstrate a loss of impulse control. Life becomes unmanageable for the online user, yet despite these problems, the addict cannot give up the internet or gaming. The computer becomes the primary relationship in the addict’s life (Orzack, 1999).
While diagnosing Internet and Gaming Addiction is not a direct function of time spent using the Internet, early studies suggested that those classified as dependent or addicted online users were generally excessive about their online usage, spending anywhere from forty to eighty hours per week using the Internet or games, with sessions that could last up to twenty hours (Young, 1998, Greenfield 1999). Sleep patterns were disrupted due to late night log-ins; addicts generally stayed up surfing until late in the night, despite the reality of having to wake up early for work or school.
Features of Internet and Gaming Addiction include:
regular excessive Internet use
neglect of routine duties or life responsibilities
social isolation
being secretive about online activities
suddenly demanding privacy from friends or family when online.
Even if an individual meets all the criteria, signs of internet and gaming addiction can be rationalized as, “I need this for my job or for school” or “It’s just a machine” when in reality the Internet or gaming is causing significant problems in their life. With so many practical uses of the internet or games, signs of addiction can easily be masked or justified. Thus, evaluations which focus on the negative impact that electronics use cause the user are more indicative of problematic use than those that focus strictly on overall internet use. Most recently, the American Psychiatric Association has included Internet Gaming Disorder (APA, 2013) in the most recent revision of the DSM (DSM-5) as a condition for further study.
Shall we look at the biological process of this phenomenon? In the addiction process the most critical neurotransmitter is called dopamine. Dopamine makes us feel good. In science, researchers look at substances that correlate with the addictive potential of a substance and discuss how dopaminergic a substance is - that is, how much dopamine it activates in the brain. Substances or activities that are dopaminergic increase dopamine levels which encourage the individual to seek out that substance or activity just so they can re-experience that good feeling repeatedly.
Just as an example: food is 50% dopaminergic, sex is 100% dopaminergic, cocaine is 350% dopaminergic, and video games are 100% dopaminergic. Screens also have been proved to have a hyper-arousing effect on the Hypothalmus‐Pituatary‐Adrenal Axis. You are probably asking yourself: what does that do? That part of the brain leads to the flight or fight response: when your blood pressure goes up, your palms get sweaty and your pupils dilate. Well, hours of video game playing can lead to a dysregulating effect on this part of the brain, which makes it hard for children to calm down and can cause moodiness and aggression. If your child or teenager is playing video games for an extended period of time, you most likely have seen them become irritable, verbally aggressive, and at times physically aggressive to the people around them.
A 2010 study published in the journal Pediatrics by Dr. Dimitri Christakis at the University of Washington found that children who spent more than two hours a day in front of a screen— either computer or television— were twice as likely to have attention problems. Isn’t it interesting that these children have no problem focusing on the game but the game impacts their ability to focus on other things?
Now that you have heard all the scary stuff about electronics use and game addiction, you’re probably wondering what can you do.
You can act proactively or reactively.
A proactive approach is one that you attempt before games and screens have a chance to take over your family life.
The most important part of this approach is to delay your children’s use of portable electronic devices until at least age 10.
Please, no screens at the dinner table and yes, have the whole family eat—and talk—together. Encourage everyone to share their successes and difficulties so they don’t reach out to strangers on the internet to meet the same need.
Make one day a week a digital Fast. Go outside, explore, try new things, take notes on the positive experiences that you all take part in, and review those with everyone at the end of the day.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your children early and often about tech concerns. Show them examples of the behavioral changes that their friends who have video games and screen access might be exhibiting.
Nurture healthy hobbies: sports, art, table top games, music, and activities in nature!
This might shock you, but let your children be BORED! Boredom gives birth to creativity.
And to all the parents out there: practice what you preach. Watch and moderate your own tech habits in front of your children. For example, when you are with them, be with them and engage in their world instead of being on your tablet or on your phone. This will show them that they matter to you and that you are interested in them and that you care about them.
The reactive approach is what you do when your kids are already struggling with electronics and game addiction. If you’re in this position, you must be asking - where do you start? The hard part is that you need to accept that your child or children are struggling with the addiction aspect. It is hard to get off drugs and it is hard to get off electronics and gaming.
One clear direction from studies is to go through a digital detox of 4 to 6 weeks to re-calibrate the Adrenal system. The idea is that your child will be unplugging from devices or at least using them less, which will give them an opportunity to find non screen activities that are reinforcing for them and that they enjoy. Several social experiments have shown that taking a scheduled break away from your smartphones or digital device can lower stress and improve focus. Since all social media perpetuates people to compare themselves to others, cutting back on phone time will help to boost your child’s self-esteem. One of the greatest pluses of digital detox is the benefit to the sleep cycle. Looking at screens delays the release of melatonin, so when screens are removed at least two hours before bed, one regains the ability to sleep normally.
Often times the gamer’s or social media devotee’s identity is inextricably tied in to their screen identities. So, similar to eating disorder protocols, assist your child to develop a healthy self‐concept as a precursor to developing a healthy relationship with screens. You’ll need to nurture alternative non‐screen experiences during which you can help them to nurture a strong offline identify.
Nature immersion protocols: scientific studies show that being in natural settings can have a profound impact on mental and physical health. Nature exposure has been shown to lower cortisol levels, a key indicator of stress, and spending time in natural environments significantly reduces stress compared to urban settings. Time spent in nature is linked to better mood and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety and can lead to increased happiness and emotional resilience, restored focus, and reduced mental fatigue.
Re-engage your child in table top and board games such as Dungeons & Dragons, which will help in the development of critical thinking, problem-solving, and logical reasoning skills, while providing access to the same adventure and exploration that video game developers are banking on. Table top games improve memory retention, enhance concentration, boost creativity, and improve social skills, while providing opportunities for cognitive and academic development. Click here to learn more about why D&D therapy works and the evidence base.
One final note - the purpose of this article is not to scare you, but rather to offer thought provoking information. If you have noticed that challenging behaviors have increased in the home in relation to electronic devices, or that you or your child are less interested in previously enjoyable activities, I hope that this information can help. If you're interested in learning more about how Dungeons & Dragons therapy groups can help, click the button below to schedule a free consultation call with us.
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